While I sit in front of the computer staring at the screen, I am perched on my saddle bar stool at my large kitchen countertop, which in the past few days has become my space where I have chosen to construct my blog and write freely. This isn’t the most comfortable bar stool and I tend to hunch over the computer and on the counter more but in the last days during my last post writing sessions, it has not phased me that I am completely uncomfortable. But I told myself yesterday after completely the most recent blog post about my wedding, that as soon as I returned home from work I would start on the next post. But unlike all my previous posts with topics that all came natural to mind and I knew I would share them. Mainly because they have all recently happened to me in the last few years and it gives my readers a glimpse into me. However, now I sit here with a list in front of me with topics and ideas for blog post but the words are not flowing onto the page. So I decided to just start this post with clear rambling, case in point above.
As my readers you will hopefully get a sense that my writing at this moment in time, is somewhat elementary and I might attempt using eloquent words but I am not an English major, I didn’t even graduate from college. I am using this platform as a way to clear my mind. And as I was so pumped the last few days, created my site and blog and crafted a temporary logo, and just thinking of the possibilities that could come from me branding myself; I was reminded today when I sat at in front of this computer that there will be days that are not all going to be filled with excitement and I might not be as pumped. I could easily have come home from work today and made my excuses of being tired because I am running off 3 hours of sleep, then had an unfriendly early morning, and if I really allowed myself I could find more to complain about but I promised myself last night that I would sit down after work and write a post.
I need to prove to myself that I can be consistent because I have let myself down too many times in the past and have not stayed consistent. I allowed the excuses to stand in my way. However, now I want to take this leap of faith in whatever I am creating right now with this site and whatever the future may hold. As I mentioned I have many ideas but today the biggest one that speaks to me, is just pushing through and being consistent. Writing each day with the hopes that the more I do it, the best I will become. I am challenging myself to get real and raw and be transparent which is scary. I have the fear that I will let myself down and it will be one more reason for me to beat myself up about, but this post is me pushing through. Pushing through the tiredness and the block to write a post to completion. To be consistent before I give up. I know I have a lot to say and I have a lot to share and I really look forward to sharing it here.
As I come to a close on this post, although short and the ramblings the mind. I might not fully in love with this post in all honesty because while typing I’m questioning if I should post it. But I won’t stand in my own way. So I would like for anyone who takes time to read that any of my blog posts, thank you for your support; and I would like to just let you in on a little secret on mine. Each post I have written up to this point and most likely every posts to follow in the immediate future will be sloppy. I accept it is sloppy, because I am flushing my mind into these paragraphs and once I have finished a post I am not rereading them or editing them (unless I think of something to add after the fact). Now I understand it is why my writing seems possibly chaotic or not well written, but at the moment I am proud to be posting them and progressing forward with each idea. Plus I know if I spent the time rereading and editing, I would have the post pratically rewritten to something that sounds made up and forced. I pray that as I progress and practice my writing and my vocabulary and my personal development, my blog will improve, until then I am happy being raw and unedited. Happy Reading!
YAY ME- CONSISTENCY!!!!